six months

I'm so full of emotions tonight. Time seems to be flying by faster than ever before and it honestly scares the hell out of me. Whenever I tell someone that time is starting to go so quickly, they always respond with, "just you wait, it just goes faster and faster as you age", and I cry a little because I don't want time to go like this.

It's been six months since I graduated high school. Six months into the real world and I'm still in shock that high school has ended. These past six months feel like a blur. I've done a lot, and I remember everything, but in a hazy sort of way where it seems like more of a movie than my life.

I was texting a friend about this the other night and she responded with, "it's so hard to feel like you're living", and I totally get that. It's not that I'm not doing anything. In between work and sleep there are a whole lot of quick visits with friends, out of town adventures, and family gatherings, but I still don't feel like I'm living. I feel like a robot on repeat, going through the rhythmic patterns of life, not really stopping to take it all in and process it all. I feel like an outsider to my own life, and it's a weird feeling.

I'm not complaining though. Life is strangely good despite the long hours and lack of sleep, and I feel like I'm exactly where I need to be at this point in my life. Change is good for a person, but it sure is strange.