summer in socal

Way back in February, in the midst of cold weather and funky feelings, I hopped online and booked a summer trip to California for just over $200.

By the time August rolled around, it had been nearly three years since I'd visited my sister, and after working crazy amounts of hours all summer, I was in desperate need of a vacation.

I packed my bag, hopped on the ferry, and started my adventure to the golden state. The feeling of peace I felt on the ferry right over to Vancouver was unforgettable. I stayed outside on the upper deck, warm wind blowing in my face, and enjoyed the sunset as the ferry moved out of the bay and out into the open sea. It was so calm and quiet, and I was beyond excited to finally be out travelling again after a year of staying put.

The majority of this trip was spent exploring new parts of California that I had never been before. We stayed in Big Bear Lake and ventured down to Lake Arrowsmith for a day, and my goodness, that part of the state is so gorgeous in the summer. We rode gondolas up the mountains for remarkable views of the lakes, and whipped down the mountainside on bobsleds. We rented a boat to cruise around Big Bear Lake on my last morning there, and took turns driving around and purposely crashing into waves, wanting to get sprayed to cool off from the warm summer heat. 

Before we headed to the airport for my evening flight, we stopped at Venice Beach for a walk on the boardwalk and to hit up our favourite hole-in-the-wall pizza joint for a slice. We walked down to the water to dip our toes in, but it was so beautiful and inviting that me and my sister ended up crashing around in the waves in our clothes. 

As I was waiting to board my flight in LAX, I was sandy, sun-kissed, and sad to be leaving my sister and this glorious trip behind. 

I think that's the best way I've ever left California- sandy and sun-kissed.

I can't wait to visit again soon. Summer in SoCal is way up there on my list of favourite things. 

summer's end

It rained this weekend for the first time in what felt like months. The heat of the summer lifted as the clouds gathered in the sky, and they opened up with the sweet release of cool raindrops.

I honestly don't think anything makes me happier than the feeling of cozy contentment that a rainy day brings.

Life gets slower and calmer, and everything is more peaceful.

I know a lot of people don't share the love of rain like I do, but growing up in the pacific northwest, or the "wet coast" as we jokingly call it, rain just feels like home to me.

School is starting soon. I can't decide whether or not I'm excited for it yet. I'm looking forward to getting back into a more steady routine, but I'm not quite sure that I'm ready for the brain burnout that is bound to ensue after only a two month break.

But with school comes less time at work, and after a summer full of 50-70 hour weeks, that'll be a big old breath of fresh air. 

Despite the crazy long work weeks, this summer has been a pretty good one.

It was filled with lake days with Madi, nights out with friends, a trip to California (which I'll post about soon!), a quick trip back home to catch up with old friends, and a couple of trips to Vancouver to visit my mom.

Not to mention all those hours I got to spend out in the sun while nannying.

Although I'm a little sad to see it go, I'm also really excited for the new season in store for us and the excitement that a new semester brings.

Watching the sunset from Mount Tolmie, I felt really, really alive in this moment

 

Drinks with Madi and Jessie at the PI

 

It's been such a sweet first summer living with my best friend

 

Girls night with Madi, Jessie, and Laura

 

Roomie selfies on our way out the door one evening

 

A spontaneous dip in the sea before I left town

 

Watching a farmer bail his hay at sunset before blackberry picking

 

Early birthday lunch with Grandma and Kasey at Milestones

Farewell, summer 2016, thanks for the memories. 

we're always okay

It's a strange thing, growing up.

One day you're sixteen, living with your parents, and working weekends at McDonald's. Not because you have to, but for that little bit of extra spending money that you so desperately want. You're going to school Monday to Friday, 8:30-3, and hanging out with friends any chance you get. No one has their license yet, so there's a whole lot of busing and walking going on. Emotions are running wild, and you feel like the world is against you. 

Then before you know it you're almost twenty. You're renting a basement suite with your best friend in a city you never imagined coming back to, and you own your own car, and you're working 58 hours a week to make ends meet, and somehow you're completely okay with that. There's nights out that get loud and wild, where you'll dance without worrying about what other people think and surprise yourself by pulling a guy into the circle. There's Friends marathons on the air mattress in the living room, most often with wine, sometimes with pizza, sometimes with snacks from McTavish. There's a lot of living and learning, a lot of mistakes, a lot of doing things you don't want to do. You don't have much, but you have enough. 

I look at the people I surround myself with and I realize we're no longer kids. Hell, most of us aren't even teenagers anymore. We're young adults with jobs and responsibilities, with rent to pay, groceries to buy, student loans to worry about, and this idea that no matter what happens, we're gonna be okay. 

And we are. We're always okay.

It's also fun growing up. Choosing favourite grocery stores and gas stations and meals to make. Creating our own traditions and cleaning routines, finding new hobbies and making new friends. There's something special about doing it all for the first time, about creating our own little lives for ourselves.

Life's moving a mile a minute and I can hardly even remember what month it is anymore, let alone day of the week. But I'm more content than I have been in ages, and I'm looking forward to see where the rest of this year takes me. 

options

It's 9 o'clock on a Tuesday, and I don't know why I'm writing.

It's 9 o'clock on a Tuesday and tomorrow's 5 am wake up call already tastes bitter like coffee that's been sitting in the French press for a minute too long.

It's 9 o'clock on a Tuesday and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I'm going through the routine of school and work, and at the end of every day I think; am I doing this right? Is this where I'm supposed to be? Oftentimes, I don't even let my mind wander to the possibilities of what's out there because it terrifies me to think that I can change my entire career plan in a split second. But something about not opening up to those possibilities is an equally terrifying thought. 

It's 9 o'clock on a Tuesday and the misty blue evening light is flowing through my window. The weather's been altering between sunshine and rainstorms all day today, and I've never resonated with it more. 

I've found myself having to take lots of deep breaths lately. I never look forward to waking up, and I rarely get excited. I remember when emotions ran through me like a rapid river, and I hated it, but now, with every ounce of my being, I want that back. My light's burned out, I'm bitter and broken. I'm searching for happiness in every damn crevice and it's continuously winning this game of hide and seek.

---

The little bit written above was written earlier this month, when I was knee dip in chemistry equations and coffee while studying for my final and desperately wishing for my first semester of college to be over. 7 week courses are not for the faint of heart, I've learned. Trying to cram 14 weeks of learning into a 7 week semester, while also trying to work enough to pay rent and buy groceries proved quite difficult, and I was left feeling drained and exhausted. 

I didn't hate my class and what I was learning, but I hated being tied down by school. Wanderlust came creeping in and I really started to question if school was right for me. I wasn't excited about the schooling I needed in order to take me to the career I had chosen, and I told myself over and over again that I would just need to get through five years of hell before getting to a place where I'd be happy. I quieted any thoughts of doubt immediately, because I finally had a plan and everyone knew about it and I was so excited to be on the right path. 

Then I read an old blog post of mine. It's called "i hope", and I wrote it the summer I went to Ireland, with hopes I had for myself and the people I loved. In it, I wrote, "But most of all, I hope that you're living the life you want to be, and that if you're not, that you can find the courage to change it into something closer resembling what it is that you'd like your life to look like." And it sorta just hit me. For so long I'd hushed those thoughts about changing my career plan, and I was miserable! Within minutes of deciding that I no longer wanted to be a nurse, I felt more calm and content than I had in a really long time.

Which brings us to now. I have some ideas of careers I'd like to research and I'm exploring my options. I'll still be going to school in the fall, since most of the classes I'm taking are prerequisites for pretty much all of the careers I'm considering, and I guess we'll see where it goes! 

Life is too short to limit your options, and I'm so glad I'm exploring mine! It's kind of scary, and I have no idea where I'll end up, but all I can hope is that it'll be right in the end.

this little life of mine

Oh man, it's been way too long since I've updated on this little blog of mine. Life has been pretty non-stop lately, and I just haven't been able to find the time or motivation to write here. 

2016 started off pretty dang rough, to be honest. I rang in the new year laying in bed with the worst head cold I've had in years, feeling sad and lonely, and the next few months sort of followed suit. I was sick more in the first three months of this year than I have been in the last five years combined, and it was really bringing me down. 

The sickness, combined with having a couple of falling outs with close friends, brought on one of the worst depressive episodes I've ever experienced, and I spent entirely way too long being too depressed to function. It was hella rough, but things are looking up now and I'm so determined to make the rest of this year fantastic.

During the chaos of friendships falling apart and life being too much, I made the impulse decision to move to Victoria so Madi and I could move in together. It was a "we'll plan for it and see what happens" sort of thing, but now it's all happening and everything's coming together so perfectly that I just know that this is where I'm meant to be. 

Madi and I move into our own place on the 1st. It's small, cute, clean, and in a really nice area. The hunt for a house was kinda the worst thing ever, but the second we saw this place, we knew it was ours. We named it "The Blossom Park Pad", and I'm really excited to start a new routine in our own home. 

I start school on the 2nd. I applied to VIU and Camosun way back in January, before I decided whether I'd stay in Nanaimo or come to Victoria, and got accepted to both. 

I'll be upgrading from now until December, then I'll probably take some first year courses next spring semester before hopefully getting into a nursing program for September 2017. It's weird thinking that far ahead, so I'm just gonna focus on this semester and play it by ear. 

I also start a nannying job on the 2nd! It's for a really nice family with a little two year old boy. I'll be watching him every Monday-Thursday before class, and I'm excited for a laid-back job. I'm just not quite ready to get back into the working world, so this will be a nice transition. 

It's always interesting moving to a new place where you don't know too many people. Going from having a list of people to hangout with at all times to depending on your one friend in town has been kind of interesting, but I've already met quite a number of new people and I'm sure I'll meet many more when I'm in school, too. 

This little life of mine is moving a million miles a minute, but I'm loving every second of it.

I'm gonna try my best to update on here more often, but life's only going to get crazier from here on out, so no promises. 

let it snow, let it snow, let is snoooow

We got a couple inches of snow a couple weeks ago and it was pretty much the best day ever. Living on this little temperate rainforest island on the west coast of Canada, we rarely get snow. And if we do, it doesn't last long before the rain washes it away. 

I looooove snow, so I spent a good majority of the day adventuring in it with a couple of my friends.

Maddy and I went for a little walk at the lake to take some photos. It was frozen over and covered in snow and it looked so beautiful. Later, Tanner and I went out for lunch, then on a little walk at the Bowen waterfalls, which was also super gorgeous.

I wish we had snow days more often, but I sure enjoyed it while it lasted!