dear friend

Dear Friend,

You're so genuinely sweet and kind, and have had so much patience putting up with me for all of these years. The memories that we make together are always my favourite. It's so refreshing that I can be 100% myself around you, and that even though I have no idea what the future will bring, I know that you will always be right alongside me. I love that we've already travelled so much of this world together and that I can barely remember a time before I met you. Our friendship has been one of the very few constants in this ever changing world, and for that, I am so grateful. 

Dear Friend,

You have been the most influential person in my life, and I love you for it. You taught me how to live, and I'll never stop thanking you because of the life it led me to. I find it incredible how we're able to be so close when we live on separate continents and go months and months without seeing each other. You're so straight-forward in the best possible way and always so understanding.  You're hilarious without even trying, and know just the right things to say to make me feel better when I'm down. 

Dear Friend,

Oh, how I love you. There's so much history to our friendship and I love that. Although we've never been particularly close at any given time, you've been around for as long as I can remember. Time spent with you is time well wasted, and I enjoy your company so very much. I have infinite respect for you, no matter what you do in life. When I think of you as a person, I think of how well put together you seem, and wish I could be the same. Thanks for that long walk and talk that one night I felt like the world was swallowing me whole. Thanks for being there all those times when it seemed like no one else was.

Dear Friend,

You're my partner in crime, and we always get in the best kinds of trouble together. You somehow always manage to be there when I need you, and I love you for showing up at my house and letting me cry on your shoulder that night I told you not to. Our night drives are some of my favourite memories from senior year, and my life wouldn't be complete without you. There's no one else in this world who would be able to convince me to get into a strangers van with them.

Dear Friend,

You came into my life right when I needed someone most. You put up with me for all those weeks when I lost myself and was trying to find happiness again, and for that, you'll always be so special to me. I was so happy when you trusted me enough to tell me more about yourself, and I'll never forgive myself for betraying that trust and nearly ruining our friendship. I'm glad we got over that hurdle, because life wouldn't be the same without you, and I love you more than any amount of words could ever say. You're so talented and strong, and I've seen certain qualities in you that I've never seen in anyone. 

Dear Friend,

Oh, you. I love you, so, so much. You're so sweet and sassy, and ridiculously funny. Thank you for always telling me how beautiful I am, because coming from your mouth, I really do believe it. Your laugh is contagious, and your heart is pure. I'm so proud of the person you have become, and my life would be so colourless without you in it. All of our baking nights and sleepovers mean so much to me, and I'm looking forward to growing old together and seeing where life takes you. Thanks for saying yes to skinny dipping. Not many people I know would have. 

Dear Friend,

I love your guts. I really do. You're one of my longest lasting friendships, and I love that we have so much history between us. You're truly hilarious, and never fail to make me laugh. I'm so glad that we became closer friends during grad year, because you're a big part of what made it so good. Thanks for picking up the phone all those times I've called you crying. I'll love you forever, even if you did read my journal. 

Dear Friend,

You're my city girl, and we made the best memories together while you were here in Canada. It's amazing to me how quickly I felt comfortable around you. I wish we didn't have to go so long between seeing each other, but our friendship means so much more to me than words could ever express.  You're sweet and caring, hilarious and carefree, the best of everything, in my opinion. 

Dear Friend,

I'm not even sure if I can call you that now, which makes me sad. You're a mystery to me, and I think that's what I love most about you. Although it may have made things weird between us, thank you for being my first real kiss. I miss and cherish all of the times we've had, and I'll never forget you. 

Dear Friend,

I love that I can call you that, even though we've never actually met in person. You're so sweet and kind, and I have loved getting to know you better through letters for the past couple of years. Skyping with you has been fun, too, although we really need to do it more often! I can't wait to really meet you someday, but until then, I'll just have to deal with letters and Skype calls.

Dear Friend,

I wish with all my heart that I could still call you that. You always meant so much more to me than I did to you, and I think that's why our friendship didn't work out. I think about you a lot, and wish things didn't go so wrong between us. No matter how awful the ending, some of my best memories from high school have you in them. You're going to go far in life, and you deserve to. 

---

Inspired by the lovely Natalia.

i hope

I hope you wake up at five in the morning every once in awhile to watch the sunrise and eat crepes with the people you love.

I hope you travel the world, that you get lost in cities so far away from and so different than your home, that you find a cafe in that place and just take a moment to take it all in, to watch the people passing on the street and notice how the setting sun makes dancing shadows on the buildings across the way.

  I hope you fall in love, and that it's the most beautiful and painful thing you've ever felt. I hope you stay up late thinking about that special someone, not because you're worried that they don't love you back, but because you're sure they do and that scares the hell out of you.

I hope that sometimes you sit on a deserted beach with your closest friends, that you start a fire and pass around a bottle of wine and dance in the wet sand until the bottom of your socks are soaked.

I hope you listen to that one song on repeat at least fifteen times because it touches your heart in a way that most songs don't, and that it makes you think about your life and helps you put things into perspective.

I hope you open up to others, that you continue to trust, no matter how many times you've been betrayed, that you continue to love, despite the times you've been broken.

I hope you don't take life too seriously, that sometimes you can stop questioning everything and just live already. Life goes quickly, make sure you're still on the same page. 

But most of all, I hope that you're living the life you want to be, and that if you're not, that you can find the courage to change it into something closer resembling what it is that you'd like your life to look like. Most of all, I just hope you're happy. Because life is wild and you deserve to be.  

 ---

 Something I wrote for myself and the people I love late last night. I've been so inspired to write these past couple of days since I've been in Ireland. I can't wait to share more when I get home, but I only have two days left of this trip, so I'm gonna go enjoy it while it's still here.

summer back home

I guess I sort of forgot to mention it on here, but after graduation, I moved to Vancouver where I joined my family who had been living there since the beginning of June. I've missed my hometown and all of my friends like nothing else, so last week, I made the trek back home for eight glorious days of friends, family, sunshine, and blue skies, and it could not have been better.

Since I only had a limited amount of time, and so many things I wanted to do and people I wanted to see, my days were full and busy, in the best way possible.

From skinny dipping in the middle of the night to just sitting and talking for hours on end, to Starbucks dates and lake days, to swimming in the river, from family barbecues and birthday celebrations, to sleepovers and walks around town, these past eight days have been the epitome of summer. There hasn't been a single night that I've gone to bed feeling anything less than completely fulfilled, and that's a dang good feeling.

I can't wait to see what the rest of the summer brings. Tomorrow, well technically later today, I guess, I'm off to Dublin (!!!), and August is full of friends and adventure, so I have a pretty good feeling about it.

My heart is full.

tonight i am grateful

 

I sit here on a warm Wednesday evening in the beginning of summer. Outside of the sliding glass window that takes up an entire wall of my bedroom, the sun is starting to lower itself behind the mountains, leaving a warm glow over everything as far as the naked eye can see, and tonight, I am grateful.

I'm grateful for the people I've met in my life, and everything that those friendships have led to. I'm grateful for the friends that let me cry on their shoulders, for the hugs, the talks, the love I feel from them. These are the people who have made every day something new and exciting, every obstacle bearable. These are the people I drive around with for hours on end when we have no place to go and no place to be. They're the ones who bring me Starbucks when I'm sad or text me out of the blue saying the nicest things. They're what I think of when I think of home, and I am grateful for them.

I'm grateful for all of the places I've been and all of the things I have done. I'm grateful for the courage to travel on my own, and all of the adventures that it has resulted in. For dancing the night away in the beer tents at Oktoberfest or walking around Vienna's city center in the middle of the night. I'm grateful I'm able to do the things that so many people can only ever dream of, and I'm grateful for all of the things I've yet to do. 

I'm grateful for emotions, as much as they can suck sometimes. I'm grateful for them, because they mean I'm alive. I'm grateful for the ability to heal all those times I thought I was broken beyond repair, and I'm grateful for the moments when everything aligns perfectly and I realize how fortunate I really am. I'm grateful for the times I've had my heart broken, and for still being able to love despite them. Yes, I'm grateful for emotions, even the ones that hurt. 

I'm grateful for music, and the things it makes me feel. For the connection I have between certain songs and certain moments, and how I can always count on them to bring me back to a certain time and place. 

I'm grateful for the mountains and the ocean, for having such easy access to both, just minutes from my home. I'm grateful for the comfort I find in them, and for how I can always count on them to make me feel small in a world so big and full of wonder.

I'm grateful for so much more, too, but tonight, this is what I'm grateful for.

summer things

Summer has arrived, quite some time ago now, and it has been full of all of the things that it should be. Beautiful sunsets from our 13th floor apartment, kayaking in the sea, picnics on the beach, a trip to Victoria for my best friend's birthday, driving around with the windows down, ice cream from the corner store, snacks from the bakery, sitting by the pier, roasting marshmallows in the fire, watching the ocean's waves, donut runs in the middle of the night, the list goes on.

I have big plans for this summer, and I'm excited to see how they play out.