02 October 2014

miscellaneous ramblings

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I've had a hard time saying goodbye to summer this year. Partially because it's been one of the best summers of my life, but mostly because for the first time since I can remember, this summer ends not with the beginning of another school year, but with the actual changing of seasons.

Growing up is weird. It always has been and it probably always will be. 

I keep seeing photos and posts from friends who have gone away to school already, and I can't help but feel like we're living such different lives now. And while the smallest part of me wishes that I was experiencing the same things as they are, an even bigger part of me is enjoying all of this new found freedom and the realization that I can be doing absolutely anything I'd like to be doing with my life right now. We're living very different lives now, sure, but that doesn't make one version better than the other. 

Life has this strange way of never turning out like you expected it to. Moving back home has been incredible, but it's also a lot different than I expected it to be. A good majority of my friends are scattered across the country in different schools, and the ones that are still here are all busy with their new lives, just as I am with mine.

Things are different now. I guess I should have known that they would be, and I guess I sort of did, but with each passing day and every new decision, life is starting to get more and more real. Instead of discussing plans for the weekend, most of my conversations are centered around things like work, living situations, and car insurance.

I know that change is good for a person, and I know that there are so many better things ahead than the things I've left behind, but that doesn't mean that I don't miss the simple things on nights like tonight when the "real world" leaves me feeling lost and confused. 

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