life as of late

Sooooo, there's this little thing called "I've been an awful blogger and haven't updated on my life in like 5ever", and it's 1:05 in the morning and I really can't think of anything better to do with my time right now. Except for sleep, I guess, but that's boring.

There has been a whole lot going on in these past few months that I haven't really talked about on here, and there is a whole lot coming up in the next few months that I haven't talked about either, and really, I just have so much to share and no other place to share it all. If you follow me on twitter or instagram then you probably have a good idea of a lot of the things that I'm gonna talk about, but if not, here's the scoop.

Waaaay back in March I got a job! I think I mentioned it here once, but didn't elaborate too much. Basically, I got a job at McDonald's, which is so very stereotypical teenager of me, I know. Since school has ended I've been getting quite a lot of shifts these past few weeks and it's been pretty great. The whole actual working thing sucks sometimes, and McDonald's definitely isn't the nicest job in the world, but I really am grateful to have a job to fund all of the crazy hopes and dreams I have. 

I'll be visiting my sister in California at the end of August, and I can't wait to be back in the Los Angeles area! The last big trip I went on was to California in October of last year and I've been feeling all kinds of wanderlust these past few months. This travelling girl cannot stay home for too long! 

Thankfully, I won't have too long between trips after California as I'm taking a solo trip to Germany (!!!) at the end of September for Oktoberfest in Munich. I grew so incredibly close to all of the German exchange students this year and have felt completely lost without them in the past month or so since they've all gone back home. But! It won't be long until I get to see all of their pretty faces again in Munich, and I really, really, really can't wait. I'm so grateful to have a mom who works for the airlines (and who let's me sporadically fly all over the world by myself) and many friends and family all over the world to visit and stay with. 

Aside from all that, I got my wisdom teeth removed last week. They hadn't grown in yet so they were removed surgically, and it was a long few days of taking all kinds of different medications and laying in bed from dawn to dusk (not to mention sleeping 89% of the time), but it went a lot better than I was expecting. It's been just under two weeks since the day of my surgery and I'm almost back to my normal self! My jaw still gets achy every now and then, but other than that and a few stitches, I'm good to go! 

Really, overall, I'm just incredibly excited for my future right now. I start 12th grade this year and don't feel nearly as lost as I ever used to. I've come to terms with the uncertainty that is my future as everything always works out in the end. So many wonderful opportunities always arise and I hate to say no to any of them, so these next few years in my life will probably be spent wandering aimlessly, saying yes to everything, and really having no long-term plans. And for some reason, even though that should scare me, it excites me beyond belief.

So that's basically my life in a post. What's new with all of you? I really do miss what blogging used to be for me. I miss the community and being able to share what's going on in my life. I'd love to hear what you've all been up to!

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Photos from girls night with good friends a couple of weeks, months?! ago. Honestly, where does the time go?

i have emotions and they demand to be felt

It's 12:38 in the morning and I want to get back to what blogging used to be for me. I want to write about how I feel and what I'm doing and where I'm going. I just want to sit and write and not care about the views or the comments (or lack thereof) or just the general feedback that a post like this might get. Right now I feel lost. I feel like there are so many exciting things in my future but nothing exciting right now. I feel in between, like I'm doing everything and nothing at all at the exact same time. I'm not scared anymore. I've come to terms with the fact that the future will be what it is and that things will sort themselves out eventually, and more often than not, I can't wait for all of the exciting things that I'll be doing. I can't wait to continue creating a life for myself. One that, so far, has proven to be quite wonderful. But I also feel like I'm stuck. I know that I'm going places, but I feel like my life is paused right now. All I do is sleep and lay around and go to work and I hate that I'm not making more of my days. I'm not happy right now and that frustrates me. I'm unhappy and inspired and confused all at the same time. I hate to think that I'm only happy when distracted by hanging out with friends or going on adventures because it bothers me that I can't just be content with where I am. And I can't confess my feelings properly right now and I know that this will all be gone come morning time, but my goodness, I have emotions and they demand to be felt. 

a manifesto for life

Say yes, do more, dance in the rain, dance in the sun, just dance. Go out with friends, surround yourself by people you love, tell them how much they mean to you. Spend your money on experiences rather than objects, take advantage of every and all opportunities, be spontaneous. Go on road trips, go on real trips, adventure. Try new things, step outside of your comfort zone, be fearless. Just say yes. And be who you want to be. And laugh just because you can. There is way too much good in this world to dwell in the bad.

confessions continued

Continued from this.

31. Sometimes I think I live more in the past and future than I do in the present, and it scares me because I wonder what I'm going to think of this period of time when it is the past. 

32. I love school. It's hard and confusing and time consuming, but my friends and teachers are amazing and I find myself loving it more than hating it. 

33. This quote basically describes me: I have a thing about moments. I document everything, in not just pictures, but drawings and paintings as well. When something happens to me that makes me step back and think "wow", I need to make sure that I never forget it.

34. Speaking of quotes, I love quotes. I'm not a particularly talented writer and can't always put my thoughts into words the way that I'd like to, so I find quotes that I resonate with to explain my thoughts. 

35. I'm so excited to have kids. I'm only sixteen and already have a couple pieces of baby clothing just because they were too cute to resist.

36. I love when people tell me that I can't do something just so I can prove them wrong.

37. I'm in such a good place in my life right now. It makes me sad to think that other people may not be. 

38. I love when other people are nostalgic with me. When I talk about how quickly time passes or how old I'm getting, most of my friends will just roll their eyes and laugh, but a few of them feel the same way that I do. And that makes me happy.

39. I've never lived in a house for more than 3 years. Sometimes it bothers me because I wish I had a "childhood" house. Mostly though, I love that living in a bunch of different places has allowed me to meet the people I have and experience all that I have. 

40. I'm an extreme perfectionist. I used to write rough drafts for my journal because I knew that if I just winged it and wrote directly into it, I would end up not liking something I wrote and would want to rip the entire page out. 

an intentional summer

I want to live intentionally this summer.

To say yes to things I would normally say no to.

 

To take advantage of all the opportunities that I am given.

 

To spend my days outdoors.

 

To adventure.

 

To just live.

 

I want to be able to look back on this summer with the best memories and no regret. And I think that these past two weeks have been a pretty good start.

I have a bucket list ya know, and I fully intend of crossing every item off of it.