I'm frustrated. It's 9 PM on a Friday night and it's been a rough week. One of those weeks where I just couldn't shake away that negative cloud hanging over my head. One of those weeks where no matter what anyone says, it's the wrong thing. It's been tough. I'm normally not a negative person, I'm normally not frustrated or angered easily, and I normally have enough control over my emotions and my actions that I feel alright. This week was different. I was frustrated and mad and, more than once, felt like punching my fists into a pillow.
More than one person told me to change the way I am this week. One of my teachers told me that I was too outgoing and open and needed to be more "mysterious", a friend told me that I'm "square" and "prudish", and once I mentioned something about how the two comments I mentioned before had bothered me, another friend told me that I take things too personally.
And maybe I do take things too personally. Maybe the things they said mean absolutely nothing to them, and maybe the words just rolled off of their tongues without a thought. I understand that people say things they don't mean all the time. I understand I may be looking too much into a simple, passing comment, but the thing is, I like myself. I've suffered with not being happy with who I was for years. I've changed things that I don't quite like about myself and I've recreated myself into a new person who I'm able to accept. People have the hardest times trying to be okay with themselves and accept who they are, so who in their right mind has the right to tell them to change?
I just don't think that's right. It takes a long time to come to terms with who you are. It takes a long time to find yourself. And once you do, you really shouldn't be told to change, should you?
I don't know. Like I said, I'm frustrated. I've missed writing my thoughts out like this on here. As much as this blogging community is sort of slowing down lately, I'm glad I have this little space to share my thoughts and feelings when I need to.
Thanks for reading, and sorry for the rant. Life is good, people just suck sometimes.