24 January 2014

i'm frustrated

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I'm frustrated. It's 9 PM on a Friday night and it's been a rough week. One of those weeks where I just couldn't shake away that negative cloud hanging over my head. One of those weeks where no matter what anyone says, it's the wrong thing. It's been tough. I'm normally not a negative person, I'm normally not frustrated or angered easily, and I normally have enough control over my emotions and my actions that I feel alright. This week was different. I was frustrated and mad and, more than once, felt like punching my fists into a pillow.

More than one person told me to change the way I am this week. One of my teachers told me that I was too outgoing and open and needed to be more "mysterious", a friend told me that I'm "square" and "prudish", and once I mentioned something about how the two comments I mentioned before had bothered me, another friend told me that I take things too personally. 

And maybe I do take things too personally. Maybe the things they said mean absolutely nothing to them, and maybe the words just rolled off of their tongues without a thought. I understand that people say things they don't mean all the time. I understand I may be looking too much into a simple, passing comment, but the thing is, I like myself. I've suffered with not being happy with who I was for years. I've changed things that I don't quite like about myself and I've recreated myself into a new person who I'm able to accept. People have the hardest times trying to be okay with themselves and accept who they are, so who in their right mind has the right to tell them to change? 

I just don't think that's right. It takes a long time to come to terms with who you are. It takes a long time to find yourself. And once you do, you really shouldn't be told to change, should you?

I don't know. Like I said, I'm frustrated. I've missed writing my thoughts out like this on here. As much as this blogging community is sort of slowing down lately, I'm glad I have this little space to share my thoughts and feelings when I need to.

Thanks for reading, and sorry for the rant. Life is good, people just suck sometimes. 

4 comments :

  1. Sounds pretty rough :/ Your teacher told you that you were too "open"? I found that strange! Because that's a good thing! If outgoing and open is who you are, then great - that's just your personality and you can't change that! I can definitely understand why you might be frustrated by that comment.

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  2. I'm really sorry to hear those people said that about you. I know there's not much to say to make anything better, because whenever this happens with me nothing helps except a few days or weeks to stop thinking about it. Even when it's something little and the person didn't mean it in a bad way. People can be quite careless, and usually don't quite realize the way their words can affect others. And maybe being able to take things less personally is an admirable trait, but it's damn near impossible if you're at all human. Stay strong, girly. Hope you have a wonderful weekend :)

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  3. i'm sorry you've had a rough week, Hope. it's always frustrating when people criticize who you are. criticism can be helpful, if not pleasant, but sometimes it helps us get a clearer view of ourselves. it was not right for your teacher to tell you that you are 'too open and outgoing', though. you are who you are, and if people can't accept that then it is their problem not yours.

    i don't know you very well, but i just wanted to comment, and let you know that we've all been there. you said it exactly. "life is good, people just suck sometimes." and it's so true. you are beautiful person, inside and out, and don't let anyone tell you that you should be someone different than who you are because of their personal opinions, or feelings. :)

    i hope this next week is better, and i'll be praying for ya. <3
    xox, Mikailah
    www.maid4him.blogspot.com

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  4. I once read a quote that spoke to the point that everything in life is personal, and for people to expect us to not take things personally doesn't make sense. What you've written reminds me of that.

    It's unfortunate that people expressed their thoughts in the way that they did. Remember that you know who you are, and who you want to be - and that those who are necessary in your life will understand and love those pieces.

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