13 July 2015

life these days

Life these days is pretty static. 

I'm finding it more and more hard to write about and blog about my daily life lately. It's so easy to write and share and document the adventures and travels, but not quite as easy with the small everyday things. 

I find that the only time I feel like writing are the times when life isn't so stellar, but I don't want to be one of those people who only shares the negative things when there's so much good going on too. 

Honestly though? I'm a little all over a place these days. I'm no closer to figuring out what I should be doing with my life now than I was when I graduated a year ago. Time is flying faster than ever, yet I don't feel like I'm going anywhere at all. 

I sat down and tried to write a blog post the other day, and this is what happened: 

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Thursday night thoughts:

1) Sometimes I'll blink for a second too long and wake up an hour later, disoriented and confused.

2) It shouldn't be this hard to remember to brush my teeth every night.

3) Why do I still feel lost and confused? Will I ever feel normal?

4) Adulthood is wanting to stay up late because you actually can for once, then falling asleep at 8:30 out of pure exhaustion.

5) I just wanna do everything and nothing at all.

6) Don't apologize for your enthusiasm.

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It's kind of hilarious to me because it doesn't really make any sense at all, but also somehow manages to describe my life these days so perfectly.

To elaborate a little:

1) I've been completely exhausted the last few weeks, and have accidentally fallen asleep on too many occasions. 

2) I keep thinking that in order to change my routines and improve my life, I just need to start with the small things and work my way up. I tell myself that if I can work on one small thing like making myself brush and floss my teeth every night, eventually I'll be able to work up to bigger and better habits, but I still forget more than I remember.

3) I thought that by this point in my after high school life, I'd be a little more sure of my future and a little more certain of where I want to go from here. I was so sure that everything would figure itself out, but it hasn't seemed to just yet, and I still feel so lost and confused.

4) Once again, exhaustion.

5) I have so many plans for big adventures and so many things I want to be doing. I want to fill my days with everything, but also want to do nothing at all about 90% of the time.

6) Recently I saw a quote on instagram that went like this: "There is nothing wrong with loving the crap out of everything. Negative people find their walls. So never apologize for your enthusiasm. Never. Ever. Never." And I really, really, really like that. I do love the crap out of everything, and there have been so many times where I've felt silly for going on and on about these little things I love because of how other people react towards my enthusiasm over things. I'm gonna work really hard on not apologizing for my enthusiasm from now on, because I don't really think it's something to apologize for.

Anyways, I don't know why I wrote all that, but that's sorta what's on my mind these days and I sort of just wanted to share. 

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