It's springtime now, with summer fast approaching, and I'm sitting here wondering how on earth tomorrow is the first day of May. In my mind, we're still somewhere in February, and it's been really hard for me to grasp exactly what's happened in these past few months.
There have been many changes lately that I haven't really talked about -- a new house, a new job, and a sort of new me. I haven't been as happy lately. Up until these past few days my mood would swing from high to low, to low to high, and back again all within a few hours time. I experimented a bit more this year and tested my boundaries and did some stupid things that bothered me for a really long time. I didn't feel like myself anymore and didn't like what other people had to say about me.
It was a hard few months of being sad after being happy for so long, and it bothered me more than anything that I was one of those people who "just didn't get it" like I mentioned one time here. But I didn't get it. Everything sucked and everything stressed me out and I really just couldn't deal with what was going on. The song lyrics "I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it" ran through my head over and over again, and quite frankly, it just sucked. But I'm happy now. Happier than I've been in a long, long time, and it feels so good to laugh for no reason and joke around with friends. It feels good not to be frowning all the time and worrying about everything, because really, that's no way to live life.
Blessed really is the only word to describe my life, and I wish I'd remember that more often.
"Everything will turn out alright in the end, and if it's not alright, then it's not the end."
PS- the title translates to "it's spring, and I'm happy" for you non French-speaking folks.