06 February 2014

more mishmash

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November 6th, 2013 - 7:02 pm

I don't like this day. Not one bit. School to work to home to sleep. That's not how I want to live, yet that's what has to be done. I have to do a job that I don't like in order to get to a job that I do like. I have to do a job that I don't like in order to do the things that I do like. I don't like this day or this job or this stress. I don't like this moment -- sitting in the crew room on my break, an hour before I'm supposed to be off, freezing cold and frustrated. Sometimes it's okay. Sometimes I even enjoy myself at work. But right now it's not and I'm not. Right now I just want to be home. The only thing stopping me from quitting is the money I'm earning towards my dreams. And I guess that's a pretty good life lesson to learn. 

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January 24th, 2014 - 11:56 pm

It's just one of those days. Happiness is a funny thing to me. When it's there, you barely notice it, but when it's gone, it's all you can think about. I go through these short little phases of being utterly unhappy every couple of months and I never understand why happiness is so fleeting. The other day I read something about how the goal in life shouldn't be to feel happy at the end of it, but to feel fulfilled, and I think that that's a pretty good way to think of things on a day like this. 

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February 3rd, 2014 - 10:27 pm

This life is way too good for the nostalgic. It's way too amazing. Too many good friends, good times, and good memories. I guess this isn't a bad problem to have, but sometimes my heart just aches in the best way possible for those days and moments that I'll never get back. Sometimes it aches for the adventures I've been on and the people I used to spend my time with. And all it takes is looking through old photos or reading an old journal entry and I'm aching for that time and place. Sometimes I wish I could go back for just a minute. One single minute to experience a certain moment again. I'm sure I'd appreciate that moment a whole lot more if I did. This life is way too good for the nostalgic. 

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Continued from "a mishmash of words".

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