07 February 2012

a different kind of letter

I wrote a letter yesterday. But not the kind of letter you're thinking of. It was a letter to my dad who I haven't seen in over a year and a half, and it explains in excruciating detail why I don't want him to be a part of my life. It started out with him driving the 12+ hour drive from where he lives to come and talk to me and my sister. He called me yesterday to ask me when I would be able to see him to talk about "our relationship" because "it isn't right". This scared me for two reasons; first, because he didn't even talk to us before leaving, and second, my sister isn't even in town. 

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My relationship with my dad has always been a sore spot for me, and although I normally try and push it off by saying I don't really care, I really do. With that said, I am so done with feeling this way, and I don't have room in my life for people who aren't going to make an effort to be a part of it. 

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So there we go. By the end of the day, my dad will know how I feel, and while yes, I do feel bad that what I have to say is going to hurt him, it needs to be put out there. 

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I feel weak because I'm not able to tell him how I feel face-to-face, but I feel good that I'm finally able to get this out of my system.  

If you have a dad who makes an effort to be a part of your life, go give him a big hug for me. You are so much luckier than you think!

xoxo - hope

4 comments :

  1. This made me so emotional. The majority of my friends either have parents who are currently divorcing or who, due to work, have to live in different countries. It is a reminder every day of how lucky I am. But I think this shows just how brave you are. It is hard to step away from people who aren't doing you any good, and harder when they are your family.

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  2. I'm sorry Hope :( Praying for you <3<3<3

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  3. I'm not sure if it's in order, but I want to say that I admire your being able to speak up and let your feelings be known. Not everyone can do that. You are a very strong girl. <3

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  4. I'm so sorry about your Dad. this must be so hard. I'm praying for you.

    -Carli

    Psalm 27:10 look it up: it's a promise for you.

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