it was a friday night

It was a Friday night. The sun had set and the sky was in that quick transition of going from grey to black. I was at my friends and we walked to our old elementary school which is right near his house. We were feeling nostalgic, I guess, so we walked around the entire school, and peeked into the windows and remembered walking through those hallways just four years ago. I must have said "I can't believe I'm graduating in less than two years" about eight hundred times. It's funny how you can go from running around the fields and crowd surfing on the stairs and hanging out on the monkey bars one moment, to sitting on the steps with someone who went through all of those memories with you, feeling nostalgic and a little sad for the childhood that you'll never get back the next. I looked around and saw memories everywhere, and as I saw all of these things, tears started to fall. My friend, knowing my sentimental ways, opened his arms for a hug without saying a word.

As we walked back to his house that night, we talked about graduating and prom and how, when we get our licenses, we'll have to take spontaneous road trips to the middle of nowhere just because we want to. And it seemed ironic to be missing the past one moment and getting exciting for the future the next, but that's life -- always looking everywhere but the here and now.

---

And now it's another Friday night. Nearly two months since I wrote those words, and I'm with the same friend, this time doing some baking while dancing around the kitchen to Christmas music. But instead of focusing on the past and the future, I'm focusing on the present and how very good it is, because this day and these moments will be nothing but memories one day, and I want them to be good ones. 

currently

Working on friendships. I've been so preoccupied with my own stresses lately that I'm not paying as much attention as I should be to my friends and their problems. It feels like I haven't had a good talk with some friends for a really long time, and that makes me sad, so tomorrow, I'm going to work on asking each of my friends how they're doing and what's going on in their lives. 

Loving life. I know it sounds cliche, but I'm loving life and all of it's adventures so very much right now.

Watching waaaay too many YouTube videos. The Shaytards, and LeFloofTV are my daily watches, and AmazingPhil and ItsWayPastMyBedtime are some recently discovered YouTubers that I really like. 

Looking forward to EVERYTHING. My best friend coming to town next weekend, Christmas, Boxing Day, New Year's Eve, Summer, and basically just life. I've been doing a lot of planning lately and I've gotten really excited about everything that's happening in the next two years or so.

Listening to "World Spins Madly On" by The Weepies, at this very second, but a whole lot of Benjamin Francis Leftwich, Mindy Gledhill, The Lumineers, and Brett Dennen lately. 

Reading The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. I'm only 40-something pages in right now and I'm not really all that into it yet. I've heard that it's really good though, so I'm gonna keep going. 

--- 

Written late last night. Inspired by Grace at GTLB!

just me and the stars

I'm writing from the deck tonight, pen and paper style. I don't know the exact temperature right now, but it's freezing out here. I come out here from time to time when the heat of the house starts to make me feel claustrophobic. There's just something about breathing in the chilly near-winter air and sitting in the quiet without the hum of electronics distracting me. It's just me and the stars.

I've been meaning to write a post for a couple of days now, but I'm having trouble expressing the gratitude and contentment that I've been feeling this week. I'm in such a good place in my life right now and I can't think of a single complaint. As much as I look back on the past and forward to the future, I'm loving the present as well. It's easy to get caught up with the stresses of school around this time of year, but it's the little things like laughing with friends or long-lasting hugs that make all the difference.

Life is so, so good. 

all of the things that scare me are also all of the things that excite me

 

17-11-2012

You know what scares me? The fact that I'm going to get on a plane soon after graduation, by myself, or possibly with a friend, with a limited amount of money, a suitcase of clothes, and a list of places that I'd like to go. It scares me that I may not be able to experience all that I would like to while I can. That maybe I'll run out of money or time or the the feel for adventure. But the thing is, all of the things that scare me are also all of the things that excite me. I'm excited for the once in a lifetime adventures that I'll surely experience. I'm excited for that feeling of satisfaction as I get off of the plane, boat, or train in a new place. I'm excited to spend the money that I've worked so hard to save. And when the time is up or the money runs out, I'll come home and live life differently. I'll bring "this reminds me of that one place in Italy" or "this weather is very England-like" into conversations. I'll talk about my trip to anyone who offers to listen. I'll look through my photos and read through my journal and think about how incredible it is that a dream of mine for so long has actually come true. And yeah, I'll be sad. But I'll just think about all of the little pieces of my heart in different places to hold me over until I'm out there adventuring again. Because there's no way that this girl's travelling heart will ever be tamed. I'm sure of it.

--
A journal entry from a couple of days ago.

just happiness v.v

- Staying after school much longer than needed just to talk to good friends.

- Walks in the chilly autumn air.

- Getting 93% on a math test.

- Being insanely happy for no apparent reason.

- Submitting photos into an art competition.

- Long weekends with nothing to do.

- Being reacquainted with my journal after far too long.

- Working with film and learning how to develop my own photos in photography class. 

- Reading a good book for the second time.

Also, can you believe that we're already a quarter of the way through the school year? Time really does fly.

xoxo - hope

corbinisms

Me: So you turn five in three days! What do you want for your birthday?

Corbin: Hmm, I donno.

Me: Is there a special toy or book that you've been wanting? Or maybe a special shirt?

Corbin: Hmm, what about a mask!?

Me: A spiderman mask?

Corbin: How'd you know!?

I just laughed, so he kept talking, "Oh right, it's because we're connected! You know what's in my brain."

 

A couple of weeks ago, we were going from our car to the house and Corbin took his shoes and socks off during the car ride. Since his socks were filthy (little boys, I tell you), my mom told him to just put his shoes on until we got into the house. To this, he answered all matter of factually "actually, wearing shoes without socks is a fashion no-no".

 

 

Corbin: Can I use the red crayon?

Me: Of course! You can use all of them now because I'm finished.

Corbin: That's kinda weird.

Me: Why?

Corbin: Cause, sometimes things just get weird.

As we were going through security in the airport we asked Corbin if he was excited for his first plane ride, to which he responded, "well yeah, but if we go on the airplane, will we lose our home?" 

I love this kid. More than he'll ever know. And I really need to make a point of getting his adorable self on video, because he's basically the cutest thing ever. 

xoxo - hope

project 52 { weeks 27-39 }

... And just like that, we're already more than three quarters through the year.

xoxo - hope

fall has arrived

It's dark when I walk to school in the mornings now. I have to wear gloves to keep my fingers from falling off and I can see a white puff of air coming out of my mouth each time I exhale. The mountain behind my house is barely visible due to overcast skies and there is no shortage of rain or leaves blanketing the earth. So basically, fall has arrived.

With an extra blanket on the bed, homemade chai tea lattes in mugs so big that they need to be held with both hands, coloured gloves, meals made in the crock-pot, fuzzy socks, a thermos of tea in my hand as I walk to school, evenings spent knitting and reading, and movie nights with friends, this season is absolute perfection.

Hey, fall? I love you.

xoxo - hope